Episode 7: A New Hope?????

Well the Season from Hell is finally over!

Hopefully the Dark Side of the Force will be at Juventus by the start of next season! By that I mean Emperor Benitez & and his young apprentice Anakin Lucas Lieva!

We will be looking to Steven Skywalker & Fernando Solo to save the Republic of LFC, under the leadership of an as yet unnamed and reclusive Jedi Knight. This will be tough as we attempt to recruit men of skill, passion and desire to our cause. We could do with a few Lando Lampard's, Chewie Cambiassso's & Mace Messi's!

Not only do we have this internal battle to fight, but we have the Droid Armies of Count Dooku Ferguson & General Anchelotti Grevious to overcome. Not forgeting that harvester of Young Souls Wenger Fett. Added into this mix has now been thrown the moneybags mercinary Mancini the Hutt. I dismiss the temporary annoyance of Poggle Redknapp the Lesser, he has horse-traded every planet he has been in charge of into bankruptcy (Bournemouth,So'ton,Pompey,West Ham).

I cannot see us making a push to free the Galaxy from the shackles of the Empire just yet (the Title), but we must gain some ground and be threat again. Broughton Organa has been given the task of finding a buyer over the summer for our club, not unlike the role of Lama Su (creater of Clone Trooperswho had a change of heart). He is a Chelski Season ticket holder but must help Liverpool find a way forward.

All the above considered (the football bits not the Star Wars metaphor!) we have 2 scenario's. We find a new buyer and they get rid of Benitez or dont find a new buyer and we are stuck with what we have. I cant see new owners keeping Benitez, and hopefully they wont have to pay him out as he will have left to Death Staventus or actually board a space shuttle bound for Orion's Belt (1 way).

I dont think it really matters which of these pans out, we are 7th best team in England and are playing Europa League Football (like Pod Racing instead of fighting the Empire in an X-wing!). So we are limited in who we can attract.For that to happen we need a cull of 10 or more players and bring in 5 or 6 good ones. The rest of the slack will to be taken up by our Youngling Reserves and Academy, which hasnt produced anything since Wedge Warnock Antilles.......

So who goes? Below is a list and a short explanation (NOT), this is based on the players currently listed on the LFC website as being in the Rebel Alliance.

Riera - He hates Rafa (not a bad thing) and want to go to Naboo (CSKA Moscow) I say let him go, he is inconsistent and a disruptive factor.
Aurelio - A valiant worthy warrior but too often missing from the Frontline and first on the Hospital Evac!
Kuyt - A stalwart of the Rebel Alliance but you know he in never going to make the shot to blow up the Death Star. Thank you for all your hard work Dirk but its time to go (He is a sale-able asset).
Lucas - He is utter Shite no Star Wars analagy needed, although not unlike Ja-Ja Binks, out of his depth and clueless. If Brazil want to win the World Cup this man should not be in your squad under any circumstance! I would take a new kettle and a set of bibs from anyone dumb enough to buy this clown.
Insua - Too short,too slow (3 seasons we have been playing him in the 1st team). Not unlike an Ewok who you wouldn't let guard your left flank unaided!

Now I get a bit contraversial, like carbon freezing Han Solo, but this time he doesnt come back. CARRA MUST GO!
I have stated it previously on my Blog for a Centre Half, he is now too slow and the 3 yards he had in his head for reading the game are gone. He has been consistantly out of position & out muscled for 2 seasons now (6 out 7 penalties last season were his fault & have lost count of the number of goals he has cost us this season) If we keep him, he plays as a holding midfield player nothing else.
Degen - Not unlike a TIE Fighter once a wing has been blasted off, all over the place and out of control, an accident waiting to happen. Like Dossena looks better as a winger than a fullback.
Itandje - Yes we are still paying this clown!!! Our reserve keepers are more than capable of covering Pepe & Caveleri.
El Zhar - A Jawa, an annoying desert scavenger (number of games played for wages paid) who in his 4-5 season has done absolutely nothing to indicate he want to play professional football for anyone. I am sure there are plenty kebab shops in Rabat looking for a delivery boy, like his crosses always short!!!
Last is Danny Sanchez Ayala Honestly he may only be 19 but he is slow, ponderous and cant tackle the preverbial fish supper! Cant help wonder if Rafa was too rash getting rid of Jack Hobbs after that 1 appearance against Reading on the 8th of December 2007. Now captain of Leicester who just missed out on pens getting to the Play-Off Final in the Championship......

Babel does not appear on my list here. We need to see him playing a full season on the right wing before we can judge him(Dirks replacement). Rafa has ruined this player and we need to re-build his confidence. Give him the ball on his right foot and tell him to run and shoot,the goals will flow.

Now the fun bit who do we get in???? Well we have no money and like the Rebel Alliance we have to keep things low key for fear of discovery which will inflate the prices no end. As you can see I have decimated the left side of the pitch like if was being defended by Ewoks and Gungans against a Stormtrooper assualt! No midfielder (left footed) or a full back. So lets address that 1st. This is a 'without too much money' scenario. Obviously money would allow us to pay better wages and attract better players, I am trying to be practical and realistic. please feel free to comment.

Left Back - There are 4 candidates for the position. The 1st is probably out of reach especially if Obi-Wan-Fabio picks him for the forthcoming Clone War in South Africa & the fact that he currently plays for the Sseperatists (Everton).
1st choice - Leighton Baines, he may have the name of a West Indian fast bowler but for me he is the best left back we may be able to attract.
2nd choice - would be Nicky Shorey, again short in stature, but I have seen him play for Fulham (they are the closet club to where I live & Our Danny plays for them!!!) several times this season and he is a solid defender who attacks when its appropriate.
3rd on my list is a bit controversial, bring back Wedge Warnock!!. he was injury prone but has been excellent since he went to Blackburn.
The last one is again off the wall, but if you image all we will have to spend is the money we get from above sales then perhaps this is the most realistic, Figueroa at Wigan, he is big, strong and doesnt mind shooting from inside his own half!! We need 2 from these 4.

Right Back- We only really have Johnson. Mascha & Carra arent comfortable there, so I am happy with Stephen Darby (Reserve Captain) and Martin Kelly (6"1 can play centre half or full-back). If you want to sign someone then for me Nedum Onouha is our only option. A player marginalised under Mancini having made just 7 league appearances this season.

Now Left Midfield, I see 4 potential candidates, the first of these is audatious but I will throw it in anyway - Joe Cole, he has been a bits & bobs player for years at Chelski, a chance to shine and show people what he can really do might appeal. NO TRANSFER FEE!!!! Rafa get on the bloody phone now!!!!! If you sign him I will forgive all your cock-ups!
2nd is Matthew Etherington - Yes I know he has a gambling problem & we have Haydock just round the corner, but as a player he is a honest, genuine left winger who works back and delivers quality balls into the box an alien concept at Anfield under Sith Lord Benitez.
3rd Aidan McGeady - Again I am being left field excuse the pun, but also spend thrifty with this one. The most skillful player in the SPL surely we can afford him? Celtic have no money.
4th - Damien Duff - Again I have watched Duffer at Fulham many times this season, he has been relatively injury free and outstanding for Roy Hodgson's team. He may cost a pretty penny, but I think he also has a point to prove that he can make it at a big club after his time at Chelski & the Toon.

Midfield - We have plethora of midfield talent but I dont think Rafa has ever harnessed it properly. His 2 - 3 set up has only worked with Alonso next to Mashca. He has left so we must move on,therefore the formation or personnel must change. I think we played better towards the end of the season when Gerrard became Xabi & Alberto became Stevie. I would like to see a more aggressive midfield. If we are only going with 1 up front a 1-4 work better. IE Mascha holding and 4 in front of him with Nando up front. However I would like to see us add 1 quality player to our numbers, for me there are only 3 options here.

1st choice Stephen Ireland - again may cost a few bob, but a genuine box-to-box player who carries serious goal threat, and another who has been marginalised under Mancini, and he doesnt play for his country (wrongly) so can devote all his time to us. Plus he is named after a whole country thats got to be good!!!
2nd - Everyone favourite trier - I used to watch him at Charlton and now he is the only shining light on a bleak Hammers landscape Scotty Parker. Again this would mean that we effectively have 6 quality players for central midfiled (lets not forget Yossi) all with goals and game changing passes in them. I would like both of these, but will settle for 1.We could even play without a holding player at home!!! Yes Rafa people may begin to like you if you use The Force properly!!!!
3rd - Charles N'Zogbia, he can play on both flanks and always scores about 7 goals a season despite playing for donkey clubs. So perhaps a higher return and is cover for Babel of whoever we get on the left flank. Send Riera there??

Centre backs - Well if Carra goes (unlikely, 1 can only pray), like Owen, Fowler & Hyypia I have called them all correctly but our managers have waited too long to deliver the chop.
Here I see 1 from 4 if we keep Skrtel, if he goes then we need 2.
Perea at Athletico - I watched him live in Hamburg & have seen him thrice this season hammer our forwards. I also saw him 2 seasons ago at the Emirates pre-season tournament that Arsenal hold. The man is immense, but no doubt Barca or Valencia will beat us to it.
Paul Sharner - yes again I am being madcap (no transfer fee, bags of Premiership experience), he is leaving Wigan,can play in midfield & up front and I think Dan & him will scare the hell out of everyone!!!
3rd choice - Ryan Shawcross - Legions of Doom released this boy and kept Johnny Evans???? Further proof that the Dark Lord Fergie is a moron!!! He has been outstanding in the 2 seasons he has had with Stoke so far in the Premiership and will probably be in our price range.Possible swap with Carra and some cash???
4th choice - Brede Hangeland - We have a tradition of Scandinavian centre-halfs whose names begin with H (Hysen,Hyypia,HAgger), can we add this 1??? I say no, I watch him at Fulham and he is very loyal to Hodgson, but might be worth a punt, again with Carra or Skrtel as bait.....

Up Front - We have allegedly signed some Eastern European bloke back in March, but cant find him on the LFC Website, so who knows if he exists or if he has name. This has been our biggest problem for 2 season now. We got away with it the season before last because Dirk chipped in with loads of last minute winners, especially in Europe. This year we suffered. Your back up to Torres cant be a 19 year old French stingbean.Its unfair pressure on Ngog and a sad indictment on our transfer policy. Game he may be but quality there is not,yet.Here is the difficult bit... We need 2 quality players here but they wont be cheap. I dont know what kind of striker the aforementioned Eastern Bloc man is, so I assume he doesnt exist....

1st choice - Rodellega from Wigan. He has managed 10 goals playing in the League on his own up front for them, surely we can increase the return & is used to that role.
2nd Choice - Lucas Podolski Total shot in the dark, dont know if he is still at Bayern or has moved on, but he plays up front or left wing ala 2006/Euro2008, Ja Vol Mien Herr !!!!
3rd choice - Kenwyne Jones - Much vaunted & linked in the Media with us but I dont see it, signing of last resort. If Rafa liked big lumps to aim the ball at he would have kept Crouch.
4th - maybe even more last resort than Jones, Santa Cruz, sitting getting splinters in him bum at Man City.

I see the return of the various loanees and reservesas crucial. (Darby,Ecclestone,Nemeth,Spearing, Pacheco et al) to support the above cast. The important question is who leads us?. All the above assumes we dont have much cash, so even if Rafa goes who can we attract? Next post will discuss.

YNWA