Woy Was Weally Wubbish With Wolves

Oh My God!!!!

It has taken me 2 days to calm down after that disgraceful display on Wednesday night. Can you think of one player on the pitch who even bothered to try?

Clearly we were rattled by Wolves' fearsome away record (1 point in 8 games), intimidated by their Worldclass strikeforce (Ward& Ebanks-Blake 2 goals in 4000 appearances) and lets not forget the legendary centre-half pairing of Berra and Stearman!!! How else do you explain it?

Torres and Ngog were completely useless as forwards. Soty and Skrtel didnt know what day it was and Stevie G was in 'Hollywood' pass mode again. IE 40 yarders for his boyfriend Torres. 7 times he could have passed the ball to Meireles who was 10 yards away and unmarked, no lets ping another hopeful ball at a striker who's 1st touch wouldn't get him a game a Droylesden! He didnt win a single header all night!!!

Only Konchesky was consistant, in that he was completely shit again!!! Glen Johnson didnt cross the halfway line once in anger. Dirk was asked to play left wing he spent more time in centre mid. (Why the fuck does every manager of Liverpool insist on playing right footed players who have no clue at left wing/midfield!!!!!!). Meireles was asked to play right mid, a position he has been completely useless in previously, just so Stevie G could play centre mid. Again we play Lucas at home. WHY,WHY,WHY,WHY,WHY,WHY,WHY??????? We were playing a team in the bottom 3 attack, attack,attack,attack!!!!!

So before the game even started we have an unmatchfit Captain in centre mid, a right midfielder on the left and a central midfielder on the right. Brilliant let put a squad of players lacking in confidence in positions they arent comfortable in!! Has Hodgson really taken over or is he a Rafa clone???

If uncle Woy only trusts the same 13 players, then why did he poo-poo Comolli's list of around 18 players whom we should ship out? Answer uncle Woy wants to be everyones friend. So for the first 30 minutes we are rubbish. Then Eureka!!! Stevie G goes to right wing, Meirles comes centrally and we almost look like a Championship side for 15 minutes! Alas no changes at halftime, to be fair Woy could have taken off half the team. So more dross at the start of the 2nd half.Result Wolves score after Soty and Skrtel contrive to fresh-air kick the ball between them and the most unknown, useless striker in the Premier League scores!

So what does our esteemed leader do well not much for 6 minutes then he brings on Babel, OK that should be positive, oh wait he took off Ngog not Torres! What a clown, even the fans in Kop didnt like that. Woy cant make big decisions. Babel tried his best when given the ball and was probably worth 6.5/10. that was comfortably 3 points better than anyone else on the pitch!

Cole and Aurelio came on to little effect although in Fab's case the opposition didnt have free reign down our left flank anymore. We cant complain about the result Wolves pressed us all over the pitch, we couldn't cope with this amazing, never-been-seen before tactic. (How dare anyone come to Anfield and play football against us!).

Next up Bolton a team full of confidence, big physical strikers who are scoring for fun, God only knows how much we will lose by.I reckon 3-0 Elmander 2,Petrov 1. Hodgson can moan all he like about the fans behavior towards him. He is not inspiring any confidence in the players, fans or owners. In fact this is worse than having Rafa in charge and you all know how much I admire that piece of jumped up Spanish shit!

Woy you have to go, what we are seeing is not acceptable from a Conference team why should we accept this from a team of players representing our club? Liverpool fan do not accept that the best we can do is 12th.

You have signed Konchesky,Cole,Poulsen and Meirelees and only the latter looks like he can hold a regular place, clearly you are not to be trusted with transfers.

So Mr Henry the transfer window opens tomorrow. My suggestion to you would be not give Woy any cash, instead a traditional British document, know as a P45, would be more appropriate. Then I would get on a plane to Holland and tell Martin Jol he starts immediately. Do you think he would hesitate to drop Torres as he continues to disrespect the Club, fans and himself, or kick Stevie G up the arse, absolutley not.

I would go with the following for the Bolton game.
Reina
Kelly-Agger-Skrtel-Aurelio
Babel-Meireles-StevieG-Jovanovic
Cole
Ngog

As Bolton are a tall team we need to match fire with fire. Yes, no Torres.Lets be honest at the moment if you pass the ball to him it comes straight back. He no longer makes any runs at all unless Gerrard has the ball and he appears to have lost his pace and ability to control a football.

We are 11 points behind 5th placed Spurs and only 3 points of relegation zone again. I said before the Newcastle game we had a run of about 11 league games where Chelsea and Bolton were the only top half teams we play. If we had won that last 2 we would have sitting 7th and looking good, instead its 12th and looking over our shoulder.


YWNA

Festive Fantasies

WooooooooHooooooooooo!!!!!

Yes what brilliance!! Mr Moratti I love you!!! RAFA the Fat Spanish Waiter has been sacked by Inter!!!!! In the last 2 weeks thats been the best bit of sporting news I have come upon. Surely this proves the existence of a higher being- God, Allah,Santa, Buddah etc.

It appears our Rafa tried some brinkmanship with the Inter chairman and was unsuccessful. He has taken the Champions of Europe and latterly the World and turned them into mid-table also-rans in Serie A. Sound familiar? Clearly Rafa has completed another UEFA coaching badge. How else do you explain his ability to sink Inter in just six months!! It took the clown 4 years to make a mess of our club! Legend. May he never work in football again.Chief bottle washer in Bootle sounds about right!

How the media decided that his return to Liverpool was going to result in the sacking of Hodgson is beyond me. He has property here and his wife and daughter probably still live here. Although sacking Uncle Woy may not be a bad idea!

So we haven't kick a ball in anger in a few weeks, I hear some of you say we haven't kicked a ball all season! Thanks to 'weather' which I believe is a daily occurence on this Planet and it is generally cold this time of year, we have not played Fulham or Blackpool. I am glad of the last one as getting humped by Holloway (again) does not fill me with joy.

The Europa League draw was very kind to us. Sparta Prague followed by the winners of the Lech Poznan/Braga tie should we succesfully negotiate that. These latter teams have already drawn English blood this season. Lech, having drawn both games with Juve and beaten Man City 3-1 at home. Braga eliminated Celtic to get into the CL and are the reason the Gooners now have to face Barca in that competition.

We should have enough to beat Sparta over 2 legs and I imagine Braga will just shade the other tie. Braga have skillful players and play quick counter attacking football, so I imagine we may go out at that stage as we have neither!

The last Group game was disappointing, the fringe players didnt really put their hands up.Other than perhaps Martin Kelly and Danny Wilson. Poulsen,Babel,Cole et al showed why Woy is not starting them. Pacheco did more in 35 minutes than Cole has done all season. Surely we have to involve this boy more?

The transfer window is opening soon and the media is linking us with everyone from Nuneaton's tea lady to Dzeko (36 mill - where are we getting the money for that???).

Man City have 43 players to offload but I cant see them selling any to us. Although we are clearly no threat to the top end of the table this season! Plus can we really afford the ridiculous wages they are paying their players. How many would be willing to leave and take less money. Not something you would do yourself, take a new job for less.

So what do we need?

A leftback - Aurelio is never fit (perhaps Rafa wasnt so daft offerig a play as you play deal)
Konchesky is another waste of money.To think we gave Lauri Della Valle as part payment for this ,bald headed,blue-eyed berk ,to Fulham is disgraceful.

So who can we recruit? - Bridge or Warnock would be nice, Baines would be magic.No doubt we wont do anything on that front.

A left winger/left sided midfielder. IE one who can kick with his left foot!
Joe Cole is not a left winger, Maxi is not a left winger and Jovanovic has proved he isnt one either.

There isn't a lot around on that flank. Duff at Fulham or N'Zogbia perhaps? The former hasn't really done anything under Hughes and doesn't even start and they are bottom 3. But you know he can play. N'Zogbia would be my preference, has a bit of an attitude and oozes confidence when on the ball.

STRIKERS PLEASE- Anyone will do! Van Wolfswinkel - Utrecht (great name - 'from the wolf shop'). Surely he would add some much needed bite up front?
Robbie Keane Take 2 ??? unlikely but perhaps Woy wont play him as a lone striker peppering him with logballs, ala Benitez.
Bellamy again????
Santa Cruz? - Not sure he would be anything but a stop gap due to his age and lack of any game time recently will probably take him until August to get up to speed anyway.

I would also see us buy a right winger - If we arent going to play Babel or Johnson there.Dirk works hard but has no pace and isnt a huge goal threat either. Again who can we get? Wright-Phillips perhaps, not what I would go for. Been at 2 big clubs now and cant hold a regular place.

Why not take a punt on a Championship player or two? Seems to work for Blackpool and Birmingham. Chris Eagles at Burnley comes to mind. Wont cost lot and has a point to prove to both Coyle and Ferguson. Robert Snodgrass at Leeds also seems pretty decent.


Really not sure if there is anything out there worth buying. Lets hope Mr Comolli has a rabbit or 3 up his sleeve. After all he is the 'Grand Player Wizard' or whatever title we have given him. No doubt an influx of French players ala Houllier .

On the way out I would like to see the following - Poulsen, Jovanovic, Babel (only if we buy a striker),Johnson, Maxi,Konchesky. That should raise at least £47 , which I belieive is what the Nuneton tea lady costs!

Johnson might seem a strange one but he cant defend and unless we do a Spurs (ala Bale - using him as a winger) I dont see a future for him. Kelly,Carra and Darby mean we have 3 other options at right back. Plus we might get some decent wegde for him.

Let hope whoever we add will breathe some life into a squad bereft of confidence and ideas. Hopefully this will launch us up the table to 6th and a Eurpoa League spot again. I cant see us doing any better.

Lets hope we can beat Wolves on Wednesday although Mr Doyle likes scoring against us.

YNWA

Doon in the Toon

Well last week I was full of optimism. I was looking forward to waxing lyrically about our great performance against Villa, who thankfully came to Anfield and did a West Ham. Rolled over, let us tickle their belly, then allowed us to savagely rape them.

We played with a good tempo. Ngog and Babel did something we haven't seen since Fowler and Owen, 2 forwards linking up as a strike partnership. Perhaps all these Reserve games together is paying off. Konchesky also did some strange things, there was tackling, blocking of crosses and shock horror interceptions!!!

So who needs Carra, Stevie G and Torres when you have Meireles, Skrtel and Ngog! Clearly not us! There was talk on Soccer Saturday that perhaps we had turned a corner. Clearly after 19h00 that that corner led to a cul-de-sac covered in grease at the edge of a cliff! We duly slipped off.

You can argue that Newcastle away is a trickier fixture than it looks in light of the ridiculous dismissal of Chris Hughton and the players devotion to him. So you would think that there would a bit of fire in our bellies saying lets go for the kill here.

Ngog and Babel together again and keep Torres on the bench. After all he has done bugger all since he scored against Chelsea. It would have sent a message to Fernando that he cant rest on his laurels.We all know he is going to leave at the end of the season but we pay his wages have stuck by him through all 374 of his injuries, so 6 months of output isnt too much to ask........

Plus there is the psychological effect on the opposition. The 'fuck me they can afford to leave him on the bench' factor and send a message to Ngog and Babel that you did well and you can have another go.

No Woy Hodgson doesn't have 'the minimals' to make big decisions. In fact Grandpa Woy doesnt have the ability to make any decisions! Again his pre-match interview did not bode well. Moaned about us always being on telly!!! We are Liverpool FC we are on the telly more than any other team in England EVERY season Woy. Even the Legions of Doom dont get as much airtime!!!!! 'I have one more big job left in me' he said in July I would like to know when he is going to start doing it.

Again he said about it being a difficult place to come (our last 2 visits 5-1 and 3-0wins!)and that we would have to play 'very well' to get anything. Hardly tub-thumping stuff. There was no 'we are 4 game undefeated and going to stamp our authority on a newly promoted team' speech.Hopefully he says slightly more positive things to the player in the dressing room. Although our performances suggest not.

So to the match. Some of you may watch 'Match of the Day' or 'Goals on Sunday'. Some not. For those that dont, these programs show you highlights of all the games on a weekly basis. So you can see what other teams are doing and how they score goal etc. Clearly NO-ONE at Liverpool FC has watched these programs this season, especially not Woy Hodgson or any of the back 4. Newcastle have a 6'4" Striker called Andy Carroll (effectively under house arrest).When they get free kick Joey Barton (another jailbird scumbag)normally aims the ball toward Carroll who is generally out wide on the left or right of the penalty box. If Carroll wins the header, which he usually does, he goes for goal or heads the ball back into the centre where his court appointed jailor (Kevin Nolan) normally pick up the scraps.

Unsuprisingly this is exactly what happened in the first time they got a free kick. result 1-0 and 11 bemused players in red! Seriously no marking on Carroll no marking on Nolan. WTF!!!! A phone call to Steve Bruce prior to the game would have confirmed that he watched them do that 5 times to him recently!!!

We had looked the better team up until that point, but really hadnt make Tim Krul do anything. We leared our lesson and started double teaming Carroll at free kicks. Well Torres decided he would help Skrtel out, not sure if that was his own decision or Woy's.

Halftime and we had more shots than they did 12 vs 2 with 5 on target, but all long range powder puffs. So 10 minutes into the 2nd half and we get a bit of luck, Dirk uses his 'blistering' pace (there are 1 legged Ethiopian famine victims who move quicker!) and his sclaffed shot hit Steven Taylor and trundles into the bottom corner 1-1 the comeback is on we are going to thrash them now!!!!

Dont be silly we are going to do nothing cos an away point is the greatest and most common Wesult in Woy's Wepartie! Newcastle make the brilliant tactical change of removing the completely useless Shola Ameobi (no doubt a transfer target for us) and replace him with Nile Ranger (Another jailbird).Must have something to do with the black and white stripes in the kit! Phew, he is young tall, gangly and generally runs around like a headless chicken. At least that what he has done on previous appearances.

No, he changes the game, he almost scores with his 1st touch and then for the next 25minutes batters Skrtel and Soty around like Didier Drogba on steriods! So what do we do, capitulate the 2nd goal was a farce, 4 people could have cleared it they all got way to allow Barton to waltz in and score crowning his already 'man of the match' award. This player normally gets sent off against us, half of his career dismissals have been against us. Were we in his face were we putting him under any pressure, nope!

There was only one winner now and again it wasnt likely to be us. The 3rd goal tipified a miserable performance. Carroll rises unchallenged 30 yards out controls the ball, turns takes 2 more touches then shoots. Rasper, bottom corner, thank you for coming and good night. Nearest player - Lucas 10 yards away scratching a ball!

So where are we. 9th in the League, thats about right. We have only beaten 2 teams taht are currently in the top half and only Chelsea you would say is a noteworthy result. If this continues we will have about 50 points at the end of the season which will see us finish roughly where we are now. Who the hell is goig to come and play for a team like that?

Fortunatley only 1 of our next 11 league games are against anyone in the top half as the table stands today. I would say that we will have to win all of them to be honest to even qualify for the Europa League again next year. The current top 5 cannot be as inconsistent again as they have been so far and we are almost half way through the season. Spurs will implode they always do. Man City, who knows with Tevez being an enormous twat (among 23 others). Chelsea seem to have lost the plot, losing to relegation candidates like us has clearly killed their mojo.

I will discuss transfers another time with the window upon us. We need to ship out about 10 -12 players and bring in 6 quality ones. Trouble is will they want to come to a mid table bunch like us.........

YNWA

Where do we go from here?

Axl Rose never wrote a truer phrase.

Thursday squad run-out in Bucherest was hard work to watch and from the display by the players it was hard work to be involved in! We looked to have reverted back to the 'we can only play at walking pace' mode. We were very generous about givig free headers down the right in the first half. Thankfully Steau couldnt hit a cow in the preverbials with a banjo. The first time our 'new' ober-striker Babel decided to run at people down the right wing (Pay attention Roy Babel- Right Wing.....) he caused mayhem cut back inside, which left 3 Steau players on their bums and deftly clipped a left foot cross into Jovanovic, valous 1-0!

Unfortunately we didnt build on that and inevitably we conceded a goal, for some reason Pepe threw one in the back of the net. Had it happened in the 1st half when he was having a laser pen constantly aimed at him from the crowd, then fair enough. Overall the result was enough but the performance was tepid. I dont see too many of those involved who will be pushing for a start against Villa on Monday.

Therein lies our problem we complain about some of the starting 11 but what is there underneath that? Not a lot. Youngsters aside, who are obviously still learning and finding their feet. With exception of Pepe and Soty none of the others really laid a claim. Aurelio is coming back to fitness and didnt do anything wrong so perhaps he has a case, but that is probably only because Konchesky is so shite.

Poulsen,Cole,Jovanovic, Babel - did not see enough to convince me they really are good enough. Sure Babel and Jovanovic combined for the goal and Babel ran around for the 1st 40 minutes but after that what? Poulsen looks completely lost I have never seen a holding midfield player who can play for 90 minutes and not tackle anything! This guy has 86 caps for Denmark has played for Anderlecht and Sevilla in the Champions League over the last 8 years and cant cope???? Bizarre, we never seem to be able to sign a foreign player who hits the ground running, they always need 650 games to get up to speed!

So Villa will be tricky, they have pace and like to couter-attack, hopefully the Liverpool of the last 2 league games turns up from a performance point of view. We really cant afford not to win at home anymore this season, as under Hodgson away wins are not possible, only 3 in his 3 seasons at Fulham!

Now that we are in Decemembr obviously its Tranfer Window time and who is moving where. There is historically very little value to be had in January.Not sure if it would be wise to look for anyone other than a striker obviously.Dont know where we are going to find one. If we are moving players on then fine but lets not panic buy. We spent all the Mascha money on Poulsen and Meirles in the summer, a bit more patience and we could have had Van der Vaart. Now that was bargain!

I see that we paid out the 2nd highest amount in agents fees only Chelsea paid more, which is impressive considering how much Man City spent on players.More money that we couldnt really afford to waste. Lets hope Mr Comelli has a few rabbits in his hat otherwise what is the point of having a 'Director of Football Strategy' whatever that means?

Agger has been moaning saying he wants to stay and he wont be forced out as he has 4 years on his contract. Lets hope Hodgson has some balls and sorts that out. We really need a fit and motivated Agger, he is the only centreback we have who is comfortable on the ball. The others are just ball winners and centrebacks cost almost as much as strikers these days.

I really am lost as to who we can bring in, Man City have loads of unhappy players who arent involved, but are they going to loan them to the likes of us, I doubt it. N'Zogbia at Wigan is a possible I suppose. We have to be realistic we cant shop at Harrods M&S or Waitrose these days in the transfer market. Its ASDA,Iceland and Aldi for us!

YNWA

London Double Bubble

Well is been a couple of weeks since I last posted. I have attempted several times to blog over the last couple of weeks but my Interet connection is playing up. So what have we seen and what can we expect going forward.

Well against West Ham we saw a team devoid of confidence, lacking in belief and hopelessly out of their depth. Fortunately it wasnt us for a change! West Ham decided to do what we did against Stoke and gave up before kick-off, if only more teams would adopt this attitude against us!

We played really well with a good tempo. Meireles looks far happier running the show in the middle of the pitch and was for me, man of the match. Although ESPN gave it to Johnson. We moved the ball around well contantly went forward probed and had loads of chances. Yes the Hammers were poor but you can only beat whats in front of you and we did that well.

Also something I have been moaning about for years, Stevie G is six one and we let take corners. Now I am sure that the stats bear this out but we cant score more than about 5 or 6 goals a season from corners. So that about 1 every ten or twelve games. So against West Ham, Meireles takes 3 corners and we score!! No Stevie G, no problem. Surely its better for Stevie to be in the box trying to score a goal???? Chelski let Drogba take corners for a while as well I dont like it.Your strong powerful headers should be in the box and your short arse dwarf midfielders should be taking the corners or stay back defending. Perhaps this is traditionalist but how often do you see a short man beat a tall man for a header. NEVER! Unless their names are Defoe or Cahill!

Torres looked a little better , but seems to have lost some pace and lacks that killer instinct but we cant really afford not to play him if he is fit. He can play like donkey but until we have another alternative what else can we do.

So more optimism after that result we were up to 9th again, our highest league position of the season. I have the 'priviledge' of working with several Spurs fans and they were quite confident about sweeping us aside in the run-up to our game last Sunday. I did concur, especially after their performace against Werder Bremen. I said we had to keep Bale and Lennon quiet to have a chance. How prophetic that comment turned out to be.

We began brightly but quickly faded as Spurs played really well in the first half. Bale wasnt causing us too many problems however the mis-match on the other side of the pitch was ringing alarm bells. Lennon has never been a consistant player and after his brilliant display against Bremen, one would have expected that he would have returned to type.Alas this was not the case. They were a constant threat down the left hand side.

So perhaps slighty against the run of play we took the lead Skrtel using the back of Ngog's head for a clever 1-2 before poking the ball home. Then something amazing happened we belived we could win and for the next 15 or 20 minutes we tore Spurs apart, Maxi and Torres both had gilt-edged opportunities to finish Spurs off, sadly they could not capitalise. What Maxi was doing for his chance god alone knows, he almost dislocated his knee the plonker!

When Nando burst through early in the 2nd half after Lucas' quick thinking through ball(i cant believe I just typed that!!!) surely he was going to leave Bassong for dead, burst the net kill off the game? Nope he completely bottled it! This man is still clearly not right. Torres of 18 months ago had an initial burst of acceleration that caused people to gasp in astonishment, gave central defenders nightmares and in general caused mayhem. That appears to have gone from his arsenal of weapons, so to has the confidence to shoot on sight. His touch also seem heavy. He has that downtrodden look on his face again which isnt good. I also notice he isnt making runs in the box anymore he is reacting rather than anticipating.

Anyway back to the Spurs game, we rode our luck and when Defoe missed the penalty, I thought that it was going to be our night. Lo and behold it was not to be, Soty got sucked into competing with Crouch for a header (probably just over-eagerness after coming on as a sub for Carra), Konchesky used his usual iability to read the game and waddled belatedly after the bullet-like Lennon and we lose it in injury time.

A harsh result, I thought our overall performance deserved a draw. Sure Spurs had more clear cut chances but the 20 minute spell we were dominant we could have scored 3 or 4. Unfortunately that is beginnig to sum up our season good but not good enough.

Top 7 is still on but top 4 is not going to happen. Unless Man City and Spurs completely implode and we go 20 games undefeated. I just cant see al three of those things coming to pass.

On a more positive note I am estatic to see our former leader making such a pigs ear of the Inter Milan job. He has taken a 5 or 6 years running Scuddetto winners and Champions of Europe and turned them into a pile of steaming shite in just 6 months, does this mans talents know no beginning????? Rafa for the sack over the Italian closed season, their 3-1 drubbing by Lazio was laughable could have been 6-0.

YNWA

Potted like Plants

Well so much for optimism after a great result against Chelsea.

What we have seen since has been utter dross. We started like a house on fire for the 1st 20 minutes against Wigan and then seemed to think this was too easy.So we started giving the ball away and let that nice young man Charles N'Zogbia run rings around us down both flanks at will. Perhaps that was our gift to him in the unlikely event we sign him, he knows training will be a breeze.

Konchesky is an absolute disaster, not unlike Djimi Traore, the second worst player to ever wear a Liverpool shirt. You know who the worst is ........IGOR BISCAN!!!

Anyway I digress as usual and that's half the fun of doing this.At Fulham Konchesky marked well, was rarely out of position. So far all we have seen from him is getting abolutely mullahed by anyone who chooses to run at him. Almost every goal we concede is from a cross and almost always from the his side of the pitch.

I have to question Hodgson's selection for the game. I know there is the age old argument that you shouldn't change a winning team however anyone who watched the Chelski game would have seen us struggle for the last 20. So why 3 days later pick the exact same 11? We have Shelvey,Spearing, Jovanovic who can all step into the midfield. After all thats where we are struggling. Maxi and Meireles are not doing it for us however they are central midfielders being asked to play wide as we have only Milan and Babel with any pace. Hodgson seems reluctant to use Milan at all.

So we squeak into halftime 1-0 up. Lo and behold within 10 minutes the scores are level, and we never look like getting back in to the game. Indeed we were lucky to escape with a point.

So lesson learn't and a few changes for the visit to Stoke, a ground Hodgson has been in charge of a team several times before. No, you would be SO wrong! Stoke, a large, physical team who use set-pieces very well, have the Delop Torpedo throw and have added true wingers to their squad and a target man up front. Naturally I would have expected us to use Milan and Shelvey at least to bolster our average height. In Milan's case it would have been an opportunity to nullify Pennant. But no we deploy the same lethargic, hobbit-sized, do nothing midfielders.

How do we expect to get the ball into our opponents half (never mind penalty box) if your wide midfielders are constantly facing your own goal? All you can do is pass to their feet they knock it back to you and then you lump it aimlessy forward. Clearly this is what we had practised in training as we executed this policy successfully for 90 odd minutes!!

We were extremely lucky not to have conceded 3 penalties by halftime. Firstly Maxi's barge and elbow on Fuller. Not to be outdone Skrtel's shirt tug and judo throw 5 seconds later on Huth. Lastly Skrtel not content with his treatment of Huth so far, then went all Italian on us. Paying no attention to the ball he made use of a WWE hold, shirt tug and judo roll to bring Huth down again.

Fortunately Mark Halsey had a mare, spotted nothing, gave non exixtant fouls and generally cocked up an already disappointing game. After watching the highlights of the other PL games, clearly he is not alone in Baffonary.

If you tackle anyone and stay on your feet you can basically do whatever you like. If you slide in and win the ball its a foul. You cant be offside at all unless you are a Blackpool player. Any Spurs player brought down in the box has dived and must be booked. West Ham are allowed to us their hands to control the ball in their own box, a new FA initiative to help teams at the bottom.You are allowed to use any part of your anatomy to stop a Stoke goal and it doesnt count even if its over the line. When a defender is last person to touch the ball, its now a goal kick.Corners can be awarded for non-existent deflections,at corners and free kicks defenders can do anything they like, short of anal penetration to stop attackers. Haven't seen a case of the latter yet so that one may not be true, but the others definately are!!!

Mr Fucking Blatter let us have fucking technology to stop this madness! It cost teams points which cost them money and it cost managers their jobs. Your bullshit argument that it must be the same game as at gress roots is already moot. You dont get 4 officials in Sunday League games, you dont get electornic sub boards, wait isnt that technology?????

Right where was I, so we are at halftime its 0-0 and we look shitter than Forest Green Rovers (bottom of Conference, unless its Champie Manager and I am in charge then its 13th in the Premiership!!). So our esteemed coach makes what changes........ None as fucking usual. Great managers have the ability to adapt and see things arent working. Mourinho is a master at it. How many times when Chelsea were struggling did he happily make 2 changes at halftime change formation, and boom Chelsea win, get a draw play better etc.Hodgson seems to treat substitutions with suspicion.

We get a startled rabbit starting at headlights gnawing on his fingernails!! Only Sammy Lee seems interested.He looks like he is about to explode constantly and cant believe the fuckwittery he sees on the pitch.How he hasnt had a heart attack after Benitez and now this is beyond me. So we go a goal down to the usual stramash associated with the Delap Torpedo. Do we change it do we do anything positive, Yes!!! In the 75th fucking minute!! Why why why why?????? The game had been slipping away from us from the minute we submitted the teamsheet!!!

We play at such a slow tempo that most League 2 teams could play around us without too much bother.We dont seem to have the ability to impose our own way of playing (if there is one) on the match. Torres was clearly injured after Huth hacked at his ankle and I admire his willingness to persevere. Hodgson is the manager and should have the balls to say, thanks Fernando but no thanks, your fitness is fragile at the best of times and you aren't getting that much ball anyway so come off. So we have to witness our ONLY striker hobble around the pitch 25 minutes contributing nothing and no doubt injuring himself further.

I think Hodgson has a small-minded approach to away games. He did it successfully at Fulham with lesser players but we cannot be this easy to dispatch away from home.If we have any aspirations of qualifying for Europe at all this season, we have to dominate games.Relying on 25 and 30 yards Stevie G screamers is hardly the way forward.Just Europe, I am not even talking top 4 as that is just about beyond us now. There are comfortably 8 to 10 teams currently playing better than us and with better players.

Certainly the general poor quality of the squad doesn't not lie totally at Hodgson's feet. He inherited a pile of shite for Rafa the clown and the dodgy yanks. We have added Konchesky, Poulsen, Meileres and Joe Cole. On paper that's an improvement. Konchesky should be better than Insua or no left back - but not seeing it. Joe Cole has done little to suggest he will be anything other than a sub, like he was at Chelsea. Poulsen is clearly struggling with the pace of the game and is no Mascharano. Meireles, I am more hopeful for however think we will not see the best of him for a while until he beds in.

After 20 games in charge Hodgson seems to have decided its 4-4-2,which is great but not how to use that system to exploit what he has. Too often we recieve the ball with our backs to the opponents goal, we have no pace and no-one makes runs in behind. There is a general lack of energy and passion, so no better than Rafa really. I cant see him being in charge at Xmas if this continues. Don't mind losing if we have played our hearts out but the complete lack of cohesion is disgraceful. There does not appear to be any tactics or planning about how to win. The soundbites from the Manager confirm this, its always about stopping the other team playing. We are Liverpool not Leyton Orient! WE DICTATE!!

I would stick with 4-4-2 and use the following players if everyone is fit.
Reina
Kelly-Skrtel-Soty-Aurelio
Johnson-Meireles-Gerrard-Jovanovic
Torres-Kuyt

Contoversial I know. I hear the No Carra cry. Yes he is no longer the player he was, I have covered that topic ad nausem and so have no more to say. Aurelio is our best left back, simple. Johnson cant defend, why not 'Gareth Bale' him. He will be less of a danger to us raiding forward from midfield, than he is when he plays at fullback. Happy to swap out Meireles for Lucas on away games and when we play some of the bigger teams at home.

That would leave us with a bench of Ngog,Babel,Cole,Carra,Spearing,Shelvey. All of whom can do a variety of jobs. It has a strong attacking feel and thats what we need.We are getting nowhere playing the way we are, so why not do a Blackpool??

All the above said we are only 3 points off 5th. But the gap to the top 4 is growing and we face Spurs in a couple of weeks. At least we have West Ham at home next........

YNWA

He-he Chelsea 0 Sunderland 3, new winner of the most disgareful performance of the weekend just!

Double Delight - Neapolitan IceCreamed and Chelsea Bunned!

Well what a week for the club,

4 excellent results on the spin and probably only 1 bad performance, the Bolton game which I have mentioned in my last post.

I was slightly concerned when I saw the team sheet for Thursday's game with none of the established 1st teamers except for the defence. Roy's pre-match interview also did not fill me with hope. He alluded to the fact that he felt it was more important to rotate the squad and stop Napoli playing.

Our 1st half performance bore that out to a large degree, we were on the back foot for most of it and looked bereft of ideas. No critisism of the youngsters on the pitch. They were playing a team 5th in Serie A who had hardly lost or conceded a goal. Indeed the goal they scored when Poulsen a CL veteran with Anderlecht and Selvilla, contrived to header the ball blindly behind him to the invisible Liverpool player there!

Cavani greatly accepted the gift and slotted in Lavezzi (Serie A's Carlos Tevez!), our defence was nowhere to be seen, thanks to Poulsen's brilliance!. So halftime and we arent 3-0 down at elast. thankfully Roy saw the light and brought in Stevie G, although taking Jovanovic off was odd, as he was one our better players in the 1st half. But what do I know, our Stevie dragged the rest of the team kicking and screaming into the game and his 15 minute hat-trick was magnificent.

It keeps us at the top of the group and I think we will qualify in 1st place comfortably now. That will mean we avoid the Champions League rejects when the draw is made for the last 32.

As to today's performance, having Kuyt back was huge plus. Hodgson made 3 brave decisions one forced (Kelly for Johnson).the other two, Dirk playing up front with Torres and Stevie in central midfield. Thats what we have been looking for and valois . Within 10 minutes Kuyt to Torres 1-0!! Stevie and Lucas had the Chelsea midfield on toast. It certainly was big boost for us that ther was no Essien or Drogba in the starting 11 and we made it count. Ramires and Mikel showed what they are ....average.

Anchelloti has some issues in that dept. Without Lampard and Essien its lightweight midfield and you are relying totally on the front 3 to produce things. Man City have the same issue, too many defenders on the pitch. They are still an awesome machine,but they have struggled against the better teams this season. The Premier League has for the last couple offered rewards to postive teams.

Nando's 2nd strike from a quick Meireles pass was sublime. Not often you see Cech routed to the spot. We striggled to play with teh same intensity on the 2nd half, but we didnt panic ... much! Pepe had a few moments and elbow, the crossbar and Carra kept Chelsea out. All in all a good perfomance. Best I have seen so far this season. Hell, even Lucas wasn't far off man of the match, he must have been fouled by every Chelsea player.

Games coming thick and fast now Wigan and Stoke away next. We can win both although that 2nd one will be tricky. 9th position and only 5 points off 4th place and 10 behind Chelsea. Suddenly its looking a lot better.

I wonder if Soty had not had tonsilitis if he would have played him and Skrtel or still played Carra....... He never did say who replaced who in the middle.

YNWA

Lancashire Hotpot - Well Done

Well what can I say 6 points out of six against the 2 most stubborn teams in the Premier League.

Well Done Roy its a start, might be 8 games too late but considering that we are only 5 or 6 points off 4th at the moment thats not too bad.

Against Blackburn we resembled a motivated, dangerous team, something not seen since those mad 10 games 2 seasons ago when Rafa took the leash of and we were scoring 4 against everyone.

If Paul Robinson hadn't had a worldy, we would have scored 6. Moreiles was particularly effective and Torres looked like he might actually be interested.

So I was full of optimism today, but alas we dropped down to the usual dross we have been producing, so far this season. The turning point was Joe Cole getting injured. Ngog made a difference as suddenly Bolton were faced with someone who wanted to play for their club and could pass to their own teammates!

So far Joe Cole's 2 best contributions have come when he has off the pitch. Sent off against Arsenal, we woke up and almost won if not for the Sun and Pepe not wearing a hat. Today his injury necessitated a change in formation which ultimately changed the match.

I dont know why Hodgson cant see 4-4-2 is the way forward with this squad and Gerrard has to play in centre mid not off Torres. Torres woke up when Ngog came and the whole midfield looked better, even Lucas!!!! Soty and Skrtel were excellent at the back.

So things are moving in the right direction however we have some testing games coming up. Chelski and their squad of Behemoths arrive on Sunday. We will need to change the personnel in midfield as Essien, Mikel and Ramires outrank our Hobbot army in midfield. The Drog and Anelka and a back 4 of Ivanovic,Terry-Alex-Cashley , it wont be easy and I would take a draw now.

Wigan away should be fine, I was at Fulham yesterday and if there is team destined for the Championship its them. They were useless. Stoke away, WestHam at home and then Spurs away, if we can take 10 or more points from these 5 we will be back at the right end of the table.

Can anyone out there please tell me why our 6"1' captain takes corners???? We have a bunch of hobbits/dwarfs midgets in midfield but waste him taking corners, surely Maxi could take them?? Then we might have 4 people to aim at from corners? just a thought......

YNWA

Sticky Toffee Puddings!!!

Well I suppose I should start with the ownership pantomime.

It appears to be over now and John.W Henry and NESV are now in charge, most of our debt with RBS has been cleared and some funds set aside for mManager to strengthen a worfully inadaquate squad.

I watched Hick's interveiw with SKY and it was cringe worthy, spouting rubbish about lack of loyalty and that the club was in a sound financial position!!!!
Tom simply finance rules apply.Your lender has given you 3 extentions to pay off a debt that is almost akin to the value of the club.

You have made no attempt to rectify that. Mr Broughton was appointed to secure a decent price for the club and has done that. You signed non-interference clause, which you violated by trying to fire the legitimalte board and attempting to replace them with your son and a woman who no doubt performs sexual favours for you and to add insult to injury you try get a good ole boy from texas to overrule the BRITISH HIGH COURT. How arrogant and stupid are you?????

You have bankrupted the Texas Rangers, your mate has had his Nascar team confiscated, you are a pair of clowns who use heavily leveraged financing to give the appearance of wealth. I say good good riddance to you and your 'mate'. Gillett may be the name but the sharpest tool in the shed he aint!

So onto today fare. Well Mr Hodgson, what the Fuck was that????????

You have had 2 weeks to really think about how you want to utalise the squad you have and how best to play against Everton. When i saw the starting 11 I was mildly concerned. Everton are a threat in the air and you deploy 4 hobbits in midfield.

Worse still in what was a must win game you play Lucas?????? Roy this man is not capable of anything resembling football talent. Sure we have had some shocking signings in the past, towards the end of King Kenny's reign he signed some dross (Jimmy Carter, the ex-president would have been better!). Under Houllier we have seen Djimi Traore, Le Tallec, Simana Pongo-Pongo and Oleg Biscan. But surely you would want to distance yourself from the worst player EVER to wear a Liverpool shirt. I dont know a single Liverpool fan on this planet who rates this thing, so why do you play him?????? Its like being a man short. He is always in the wrong place at the right time, causing mayhem amongst his own teammates. He can pass has no positional sense and could not tackle a fish supper!!!!

You got it so wrong today, a depleted Everton side and you went out not to lose, them at halftime when we were clearly getting stuffed, you did nothing, then at 2-0 you waited 20 FUCKING MINUTES before making any changes. Roy if a formation and personnel has caused you to be 2-0 down after 55 minutes them you need to change it now! Unfortunately the team you finished with was the team you should have started with. Cole,Maxi and Lucas were about as much use as a chocolate teapot.

Unsuprisingly the introdution of a 2nd striker and some pace down the wings with Babel and Milan we looked a threat, but you only gave them 15 minutes to change a course of a game that we had been struggling with since the 5th minute!!!!!! understandable if we were 1-0 down to Madrid, Barca or Chelsea, but not 2-0 down to Everton! If you had given Ngog, Babel and Jovanovic 35-40 minutes you might have squeaked a draw.

Torres still isn't fit or interested, I have said it before and I will say it again. That boy needs 2 months with no football and seeing as we appear to be aiming for 17the give the time off. Ngog and Babel contirbuted more in 10 minutes than Torres, Cole and Maxi had in 80.

Roy no more rubbish please, there does not appear to be a plan or belief. I have just watched Blackpool thrash Man City and lose they played with belief. We just seem to capitulate. No more small minded negative tactics, we are not Fulham we are LFC!!!!!!!

4-4-2 - Johnson-Skrtel-Kygriakos-Konchesky, Babel-Gerrard-Morelies-Jovanovic, Cole-Ngog. At home thats what we should be playing and away against the bigger team in the League substitute Poulsen for Moreiles. That is your best team, agreed its not great but there is pace and genuine threat, obviously it would be better with a fit motivated and interested Torres but at the moment he is as much a liability as Lucas and Carra. You can always use Spearing and Pacheco as other options, but most of the players you are using dont offer anything at all.

Roy we are 19th in the Premier League sandwiched between Wolves and West Ham, this is not an accident or due to results not going our way. I have not seen us put in a single Premier League standard performance yet this year. We are conceding almost 2 goal every game thats the best part of 80 over the whole season. You know what happens to teams that do that, they get parachute payments and Scunthorpe away as a reward!!!!!

Next 3 game are Bolton,Blackburn and Chealsea, where the hell are you getting points there playing the way we are?????

YNWA

But Roy might be if there is not a serious improvement..... We have never sacked a manager after 10 games, he sure is trying!!!

Utterly Useless in Utrecht - Rocked by the Seasiders

Well if ever one Blog post followed another seamlessly then guess this one does.

What an utter disgrace that performance was last week. We looked more clueless, lacked more cohesion and if possible slower!!! Honestly, what is going on here. there is no leadership on the pitch and there seems to be less from bench. Other than Sammy Lee doing his usual jack-in-box routine. Nothing. Our new manager sits there looking nervious and biting finger nails, but no change in the tactics or approach.

He then has the audacity to spout off about positive from the game. The only positive I saw was that a perfectly good goal for Utrecht was ruled out, and despite our ineptitude we hung on grimly. Hardly anything postive there Roy!!!

It appears much of same approach against Blackpool, although I haven't been able to bring myself to watch it yet. One can only handle so much depression at a time. Don't want to be hastening the arrival of SADS unnecessarily.

It all looks a bit too tentative, as if the players are scared to play. This smacks of a Benitez hangover.However I can't believe that the man who has managed Fulham so successfully over the last 2 1/2 season can be so inept. Fulham played high tempo passing football, closed down opposition and generally didn't allow crosses into the box. Even a 'luxury' player like Damien Duff tackled back and gave his all every week. What do we seem to be getting small minded, small club football. We are LIVERPOOL FC. The most succesful English Club EVER (just).

I am unhappy to be thinking about calling for his head already. That is generally a knee jerk reaction of an unstable club ala Newcastle or Leicester. I cant believe that he has basically no effect on the squad of players that are there. We have seen no spark of inspiration. Joe Cole looked good until he got sent off at Arsenal and now seems to be shoehorned out on the left where he did very little fo Chelsea. Not sure what Hodgson thinks he is going to get from him out there.

The players Hodgson has bought Poulsen, Meireles, Konchesky dont seem to be adding anything. Understand Poulsen and Ches are necessities, bourne out of replacing Mascha and having no left back to speak of at the club. I like Miereles, but when Spurs have snaffled Van Der Vaart for 3.5 mill less what have we actually bought! For Portugal and Oporto, he plays in the Stevie G/Joe Cole role, with the occasional foray on the right wing. He seems to not have a defined role when he does play and is struggling with the pace of the game. Unfortunately that last statement is true of the whole squad not just the new arrvals.

I dont think the game has changed that much since May has it? Chelski and Man City seem to be doing well with 7 defenders on the pitch and 3 attackers.Typical boring Italian tactics, hardly brilliant or new, Mourinho has made a career out of copying that approach. Thats only slighty worse than all the Benitez copiers at the World cup with their 4-2-3-1's.

Why do we look out of depth in all matches at the moment? Benitez has left a hell of a legacy if the players are so low on self belief that they can play even worse than they did under him! Like a herion addict, they know its bad for them and will make them feel more worthless than they do currently. One more uninspiring Rafa match pleeeease, shouts Stevie G and Carra!!!No I cant see it.

Torres still looks unhappy. Probably understandable because he is clearly not fit and if we are being honest hasnt been for about 2 years. He needs 2 month with no football to sort his body out.And as we look like not qualifying for next years Europa League, never mind the CL, perhaps now is a good time to rest him. After all finishing 8th or 17th, whats the difference? You dont play in Europe and you are still in the Premier League.


Roy this is what we DEMAND an Liverpool 11 to do.

1) Have Passion and Desire. At the moment I dont see a single player who is playing their hearts out for the shirt. That unfortunately falls at your door Roy. They should want to die to play for Liverpool anything less is not good enough.

2) Have the ability to control and pass the ball to another player in same colour shirt, quickly and effectively. Most of the squad should have this basic ability after all they are professional footballers. Its like being an accountant and not being able to count......

3) Play attractive high tempo football with a purpose and cutting edge. Simply the Liverpool Way. Others have copied it, hell Ajax have been claiming its their way for 40 years, but we all know it was Mr Shankly who started all this pretty triangles on the floor stuff! Roy I have seen you mould Fulham team into this model with players of far less ability, playing 4-4-2 or 4-4-1-1, So please mate sort it out. That is your remit - motivate, tactical nous, drive. Not seeing anything at all on that front.

4) To be feared by every club in the land!!!! We want our mojo back Roy, it has been living in Salford for too long and appears to be leaking towards the Kings Road at the moment. Ian Holloway should not be able to stand in a post match press conference and say he wasn't worried about coming to Anfield! He should have been shitting himself!!!!! You need to make Anfield the most intimidating place in the land, not the soft touch it currently is. How do you do that, by doing the above! QED.

20% of the season is gone and we are probably 6-8 points worse off than where we should be. The 2 trips to Manchester werent points we expected, but it was the performances that really hurt. Totally out played, thought and fought. Blackpool and Sunderland should have been dispatched at home. If we had 11 or 12 points I would say decent start not too much ground lost. But unfortuantely Roy I have to give you a 'F' for fail at the moment.The last I expected of you was more negative dross.

We have to take 9 from 9 before Chelsea visit on the 7th of November, who knows we might we 12th by then!!! That wont be easy with away trips to Toffees and Trotters! (Not a meal I would look forward to). These 5 points dropped to Sunderland and Blackpool will ultimately cost us any chance to finish back in the top 4. SO next Summer Reina, Torres and Gerrard will be gone, but dont worry we will still have Babel, Lucas and Carra! Cant wait to play Scunthopre in the Championship in 2012/2013!!

YNWA

PS - For those of you who enjoy my rants please check out Phil McNulty's BBC sport Blog/articles.He has asimilar passion for the Reds and puts his points across more susinquently and eloquently.

No I am not being paid to advertise for him!!!

A load of Cobblers!!!!

Well what can you say,

You pick your squad players against a team in the lower reaches of League 2 at home and play a 4-2-3-1 with no real holding player. Remember we are not sure what Lucas is, but we know he isn't a football player!

Think we started well enough great ball from Agger to Jovanovic and he took it well. But after that did we dominate the game, did we do anything, no we sat back, let them have the ball and play football..... A nonsense really, we are at home to a team 63 places below us!!!! Babel was completely useless, this guy whines everytime he isnt included and when is involved he does nothing.

Honestly him and Jovanovic should have been terrorising the Northampton defence with their pace, but they always seemed to recieve the ball with their backs to goal and centrally, hardly the most effective use of their skills.

I think this game proves that we have a squad more suited to the Champoinship than the Premiership at the moment. None of the players on dislpay rose to the challenge and dominated the game. Only Pacheco put in a decent shift. Again we cant defend crosses they pulled our midfield all over the place.

We have lost another proud record, lowest team to ever knock us out of a cup and only our 2nd penalty shoot-out defeat. Hodgson reign has started extremely poorly and this season is already looking like a right off. Fortunately we have not lost too much ground this weekend with everyone else dropping points.

Lets wait and see what rubbish awaits us on Thursday away at Utrecht.

YNWA

Lethergy at the Legions of Doom

Well I have finally got round to watching our trip to the Theatre of Delusions, The Cobblers from Wednesday night and yesterday Mackem Mayhem. Honestly, is Benitez still in charge???????

The players used against Man U were useless. We let 2 geriatrics and the most avergae Scottish player in history, run the midfield. Maxi & Joe Cole were so ineffective as widemen that John O'Shea looked like raiding rightback. Poor Konchesky got terrorised by Nani, with no protection whatsoever in fornt of him.

We had no tempo to our play agin, we never looked like scoring and if were 2 or 3 down at halftime we could not have complained. We had plenty possesion, but made less than rudimentory use of it. Van Der Saar could have sat in the stands all game. I expecting it to be difficult, but you expect Liverpool players to stand up and be counted. Again that didn't happen. Sure Gerrard scored 2 goals, but we never then pressed on, despite how fragile they have been at the back of late.

All 3 goals came from crosses, due to no pressure being put on the man who is doing the crossing. At this level if you stand off all the time, they will eventually get one right.

Goal One - WTF was Torres doing??? How can you mark someone standing behind them and on the wrong side. More importantly, why was Torres marking him at all???? We have Gerrard and Poulsen who are better suited for that task. Torres should be the free man at the near post heading the ball out not Gerrard. That about the 5th or 6th near post corner goal we have conceded against them in 6 seasons. Ferdinand, O'Shea and Ronaldo twice I can remember off the top of my head.

Goal 2 - Not enough pressure on the cross, and yes great skill from Berbatov, but why was Carra standing the best part of 7 yards away from the man he was suppose to be marking??? Is it any wonder Berba had enough time use his knee and them perform a bicycle kick. Skrtel never let Rooney out of his sight all game, result, he was a non-event.

Goal 3 - Carra again caught under the ball, meaning he has no leverage to just with Berbatov, never mind compete for the ball. I have been saying for 2 years that Carra is passed his sell-by-date, how much more evidence do we need? He doesn't read the game well anymore, he is to slow and isn't physically strong enough anymore. Lets get Agger in alongside Skrtel and let them build a partnership, after all they are surely the future of our club....

I think Hodgson got it tactically wrong, we didn't press the ball at all which is odd, because normally we are all over Man U like wasps when we play them. The lack of tempo suited them. We should have had at least one pacy player on the pitch. Babel down the right or left may have helped, would certainly restricted the wide players and ful back having the freedom of the pitch.

We looked better when we went to 4-4-2 but still lacked purpose and drive. Apparently Morelies got our Man of the Match, for what I dont know. Not sure any combination of players would have worked, in light of the general malaise that seems to be going around the club at the moment. Hodgson's appointment hasn't given players lift at all, and his tactics seem to be deflating them further.

YNWA , seem to think this stands for You'll Never Win Again at the moment.....

Hodgson Hope Fading

I have just read my last post before starting this one, it was full of hope, optimism and positivity. How quickly that has been washed away in the opening month of the season.

I see a new manager, some new players (although crucially no striker) and yet we get the same abysmal performances.

We looked all at sea against Arsenal unto Joe Cole got sent off, then we resembled a football team in the 2nd half, that was comfortably keeping the best passing team in the land at bay until Pepe's last minute blunder.

The Man City display was pathetic. I hope Roy made them walk home. The 2 games against Trabsonspor were even worse, still dont know how we managed to knock them out. We were useless in both games and somehow we snuck through.

So next up was West Brom at home, surely the real Liverpool woud appear, unfortunately it did, 2 holding midfield players, no urgency no cohesion. A moment of brilliance from Dirk and Nando got us out of jail.

Then some good news, Meireles & Konchesky in, Mascha out, and Torres comes back from 2 games with Spain and isnt injured!

So again, falsely I thought we would get a performance today against a strong and disciplined Birmingham side. Alas, Woe Betide, our new coach seems to be metamorphasising into Rafa. At Fulham, his teams worked hard, harrassed the opposition and used skill to pass and score goals. So far we have seem almost none of those characteristics in his Liverpool team. I fully accept he has inherited a squad low on confidernce and self-belief. I also accept that his tactics etc will take some time to bear fruit, but I do not expect or accept more apathy.

Today, we deploy 2 holding drones again, result - unmitigated dross. I fully appreciated that we have not beaten BHM City since the times of Houllier, I have mentioned several times in the past that they seem to have our number. However I dont think any Liverpool fan expects to see their team turn up away from home and make no attempt to play football, press the ball, or show a lack of desire to play for the club. But that is what we got today. Torres looks like he would rather be somewhere else. He seems to only want to pass to Stevie G, gave the ball away far too much. I would rather we play Ngog if Torres isnt interested.If he continues with this attitude bung him in the reserves til January. He needs to remember who pays his wages and what stadards we expect of our players.

Glen Johnson was by far the best player on the pitch, for Birmingham. Constantly gave the ball away, out of position, showed no urgency to chase back. If thats England's right-back it might explain why they were so poor at the WC.

In general our play was sloppy and half-arsed, we were playing at half the tempo required in a Premiership game, and never really got going until it was almost too late. The Spawn of Satan (Lucas) was again magnificent - How else do you explain his ability to hoodwink 2 managers into believing he can play football??? Honestly if you placed a wardrobe, slightly to the left of the centre circle on the halfway line, you would get better results than playing the Brazilian donkey. At least you could play a 1-2 with the wardrobe and it might intercept the ball without giving away needless fouls!

Stevie G has to play in centre midfieldand not in the hole. Baz the Spaz marked him out the game today and only when Meireles came on and he dropped deeper, did he have any influence on the game and did we look lie football team.

Thought on the whole it was far from acceptable, and I think Hodgson really needs to get into these guys, they play for LFC, not Lazy Bastard FC. West Ham & Newcastle is where overpaid never-wases go, not our club. On Sunday we travel to the free-scoring Legions of Doom at their Theatre of Delusions. Unless we up our game 200%, we will get hammered. We look letharic, unfit, uninterested. We are suppose to be ushering a new era under Hodgson, so I would expect a more robust set of performances. We won't be in contention for a top 7 place if this continues.

Still we can alway rely on Torres to scare Vidic into another sending off! That would be nice. I thought Knochesky did well and Jovanovic was better in 2nd half when he tucked in a bit to allow Konchesky space to overlap.Pepe was our real saviour with 3 excellent saves in the 1st half.

Hopefully we will an outbreak of entertainment against Steau on Thursday, last time I went to watch us play Steau, we bored them 1-0 and Sami almost gave away a pen in the last 5 minutes, any takers on a repeat with Carra doing a Sami impression???????

YNWA , but it is a feeble tiresome walk at the moment.

Rabid against Rabotnicki

Well Firsty let me congratulate the only other British Team to progress tonight. Well done Motherwell. Hibs surrendered to Maribor, tells you all you need to know about the state of Scottish Football.

I apprecite tonights opposition was hardly top class, but how many times under the Benitez did we see us struggle against teams of this ilk?

Hodgson has clearly had an immediate impact and has been breath of fresh air, even the much maligned (especially in this blog) Lucas played well. His overlapping run and cross in the 1st half being his best contribution.Where did that come from????

Joe Cole was impressive, comfortably Man of the Match, both England and Chelsea must be wondering why they havent really used him. Roy also seems to have solved the 'Alonso' position by playing Stevie G there and he looks much more effective. (may have alluded to that several times previously on this blog) Far more difficult to man-mark when he comes from deep.

The youngsters that played did well. Thought Pacheco was good in the 1st half but faded, hardly suprising after winning the Golden Boot at the under 19 Euro Champs. Kelly was far more involved in 2nd half. He did really well and is going to be an asset this season can play all across the back four, although I wouldn't like to see him against Walcott on the opening day. If Aurelio isnt fit enough then switch Johnson over and let Kelly play right-back. Still our problem position at the moment, need a quality leftback. I still say we should look at Nicky Shorey of Villa.

Upfront, Ngog looked better than he has done in a while but still too wasteful.At 21 we cant be too harsh. He keeps putting himself in the right places to the goals will come. Also an area that needs attention, no quality back-up for Torres. Not a lot of decent strikers out there. Get Crouch or Bellamy back??? I have will keep saying it Klose is an option.

Jovanonic looks very lively. I was a bit worried as he hasn't really contributed in the pre-season games so far but he wasn't far behind Joe Cole in the man of the match runnings. Credit where its due, thanks Rafa.

Well done boys. 4-2-3-1 and it looked so much better than it ever did under Rafa. Except for that mad 2 months, 2 season ago when we put 14 goal past Madrid, Aresnal and Chelski in 5 games.

I dont want to speak about the possible Chinese takeover, lets wait and see, cant help getting the feeling that we are jumping out the frying pan and into the fire.

As to tomorrow's draw we will be in one of 7 Groups with 73 other teams!!! Only UEFA can complain about domestic fixture congestion and then run a competition that can take 23 games to win! We will be seeded, so should avoid team from Europe's bigger Leagues. Lets just hope we avoid Israeli,Azerbajani or any other far flung opposition.

YNWA

Pre-Season Farce

Firstly, let me take care of the additions to the squad.

Joe Cole - Great piece of business, a free transfer. Can play just about anywhere in Midfield and has that 'X-factor' which we have seen so little of under Rafa the Clown. Perhaps we will finally see what this player can really do.

Danny Wilson - I have to be honest dont have a clue where this one came from. He played for Rangers and as watching Scottish Football is akin to having red-hot needles inserted in your eyes, while your scotum is sauted in oil, I have no idea whether he is any use, but he can't be worse than Insua! Let's hope he isn't here on a Mary's Prayer. Sorry couldn't resist.

Still need a striker to support/replace Torres. Only time will tell on that one.

Midfield -I would still like to see a Damian Duff or Stephen Ireland join us.

At the back - A decent Leftback would be nice and a replacement for Carra in the middle, otherwise its not looking too bad.


So the knub of my posting this evening, Pre-season Tours/Friendlies what are they all about? My understanding is they serve 5 purposes:

1)Get the players fit.
2)Helps intergrate new player into squad.
3)Assess some of your younger players, to see if they can make they step up.
4)Build match fitness.
5)Lastly, the purpose of most tours these days marketing & selling 'The Brand'.

On that last point, I think we do the right thing, we tend to shun away from it and have used our base in Switzerland to do 1)& 3) at least over the last few seasons.

I fully appreciate that Roy Hodgson probably had very little to do with organising this years fiasco. What is the point afer a World Cup of taking your reserve & youth team for a jolly????? That is roughly what our pre-season has been so far. Only Ngog,Lucas,Aquilani, Soty & Jovanivic have featured so far. We have our 1st competetive game on Thursday, and most our 1st team squad havent kicked a ball yet! Admittedly that is against a Macedonian side called Rabotnicki Kometal, however are we going ot play the youngsters again? We can't make 10 chnages at halftime, so I think we will be struggling.

Again I appreciate we have to give the players involved in the latter stages of the Word Cup need a rest.I only see 6 players who qualify for the extended break. Torres (injured again playing for hm country. That is 5 times now), Reina, although as a splinter catching keeper he can hardly be tired! Kuyt who actually played for his country. Babel filled his usual role for club and country, sat on the bench and wasn't needed.So again like Reina he can't be tired. Maxi & Mascharano. The rest were all out in the Group stages or round of 16. That means they played a maximum of 6 or 7 games over a 2 month period if you include friendlies. Hardly a schedule to make you tired.

So we are only really starting training on Monday as a squad, Mascha & Maxi aren't due back until the week before the season starts!!!!! Surely a team who finished 7th and was so abysmal for most of the season would be in early fro pre-season, not turning up 10 minutes before the season starts! Oh yes, maybe we aren't worried because our 1st game is Arsenal!

Seriously, we need to steamroller this Macedonian lot & Borussia Moenchengladbach inbetween, so we can at least have some confidence in our start. We have tough opening 6 fixtures and if we don't the ground running we could be out of sight by October.

I have just finished watching Spurs v Sporting Lisbon,and both those teams look about 2 yards quicker than we are at the moment, they both have similar early European ties. Unlike us they seem to have most of their 1st choice squad already togeher and they look quite sharp. Here is hoping we wake up in time for the Arsenal game, because I assure you they will be ready to go on the 15th!

YNWA

PS Roy keep up the good work, I like the change to 4-4-2. I also think Kelly, Spearing, Shelvey, Darby & Ecclestone look like they might be useful to us next season.

Who can we attract?????

Now that Roy Hodgson has been appointed hopefully we can attract a better quality of player than the scattergun approach of Benitez.

We are quite a few players light of a decent team, never mind a top 4 side or Premier League contenders.We also currentlt fall foul of the 'home grown' rule. Premier league rules state 8 of our 25 player squad (I thought we had a squad of 45 under Rafa!) need to be home grown. That basically means coached at clubs in England or Wales for 3 years, between ages of 16-21. At present, only Carra, Stevie G,Glen Johnson & Insua qualify. Obviously we can pad that out with the likes of Darby,Spearing,Pacheco,Kelly. But a few decent English player wont be bad, just as long as they didnt play at the World Cup!!!

I still think we will see some big names leave, Torres & Mascha will probably go to Inter. Torres wont be going to Madrid, and Barca have bought Villa, so Italy seems most likely. Be a bit bitter to swallow, but we have to be realistic Torres is one of top 5 strikers in the world. What incentive is there to play for us in we are not in the CL or challenging for the title. As for Mascha, he wants to move every year, so let him go, sick & tired of reading he wants to be elsewhere at every transfer window. Funny how Benitez isnt interested in Lucas ('played' more minutes than any other outfield player last year), Degen,Insua,Ngog and any of the other donkeys he brought to the club.

I do think Stevie G will go as well, there is a media shitstorm about to hit his life when the gagging order is lifted about his sexual picadillo's afer the World Cup.Which apparently make JT look like bastion of morality! Rumour has it that is part of the reason for the unrest in England camp. I just thought they were crap because they are all overpaid prima donnas. So Thailand might be Stevie's next port of call where they condone that sort of thing! Anyway I digress.

I have in previous blogs put down my wishlist, but lets look at what is really possible. Not sure if Joe Cole has signed for anyone, but if I was Hodgson I would be on the phone now.

We need 2 left backs. In light of the homegrown rule, first choice would be Shorey from Villa. I also think Salceido (Mexican @ PSV) would be a good move.

Midfield - I would like to see Roy raid Fulham here and bring Duffer to Anfield. Can play on both flanks and is a goal threat. We need a midfield powerhouse whether Stevie stay or not, so I would go for Stephen Ireland. With every new signing Mancicni makes at Man City he gets further from the 1st team. I believe if he had played more last season, they would have been 3rd in the league not 5th.

Up front we have to be bold again, whether Torres stays of not we are woefully short here.I would go for Klose @ Bayern. Sure he is 31, but he isn't getting a game there and has bags of experience. Might be a bit pricey as he continues to break records at the WC, but that would be a great buy, a genuine penalty box predator. I would still like to see Podolski as well, they have a great partnership for Germany and have been playing together for years. I realise that we would need to lose a few crown jewels to have budget for these kind of buys, but we need depth, rather than just 1 good player in each position.

Centre back could also do with a re-fresh, cant say any of our 4 WC reps in this department did much to show themselves as top players. hell Soty doesnt even start for greece and they are really crap! Carra must go, too old, too slow, too weak. I would still like to see us have a crack at either Shawcross or Perea at Athletico. brede ahngeland wouldnt go amiss either.

So we have 5 weeks to pull all this together before the season starts, and the 'random' fixture list has really stitched us up. 1st 5 games as follows:
Gooners @ home
Man City - away
West Brom @ home
Bhm city - away, a etam se have never beaten in the PL.
Legions of Doom - Theatre of Delusions

Perhaps Rafa wasnt wrong after all, looks like Fergie does decide the fixtures!!!

YNWA

Hodgson brings a new hope

Well,

We appear to have got our, I believe it is the right choice, especially as we appear to be stuck with the Yanks as owners for the fore-seeable future. We need a manager who can work within a budget and build a strong team ethic. I have seen Hodgson do this 1st hand at Fulham over the last 2 seasons and it has been amazing to watch.

He likes to play 4-4-2 or 4-5-1, and promotes passing game. Something the Fat Spanish Turd was never aqauinted with!!! He has excellent contacts around Europe, so I imagine we could see a few excellent bargains (ala Hangeland). He has managed Inter so we know he handle a big club environment and will have the respect of the players instantly.

The papers claim he has 12 million transfer kitty, however in his interveiw with LFC TV on Thursday, he said a figure hadnt been discussed. If thats true, then he is in the job for the right reasons, he wants to manage the club, the cash isn't important.

We have already increased the pot with Rafa's parting gift to us the sale of Yossi to Chelsea!(undisclosed fee) Brilliant!! Nothing like selling one of your better players over the lat 2 seasons to the competition! I know it boiled down to Yossi's ridiculous wage demands. Apparently we were unwilling to up his modest £50k a week to £75k. Shame on us for being so mean-spirited!!!NOT. Wish I could demand a 50% increase in my salary for doing no more work in a failing business!! Goodbye Yossi hope you have fun sitting on the bench at Chelski for the next 4 years!

Roy will have to be out the blocks pretty quickly as we have Europa League commitments on the 29th of July, Hopefully whichever team we pick, it should be capable of beating the 3rd best team in Estonia or whoever it is we get. He indicated in his interveiw that he would be speaking to the scouts and coaching staff to see what if any player/s we are looking at.

On that front, I will comment seperately.

Welcome to the greatest club in the universe Roy may your reign be long and successful.

YNWA

Gone Daddy Gone, Rafa is Gone

Wow, I cant believe we have actually done it!!!!

His miserable reign is over!!! Happy Days!!!! My cup runneth over with joy etc......

So let look at the hard facts, we have negtiated at initial 3 mill settlement with a possible 3 mill more if he cant find another job. Now this may appear like we pressed the panic button too soon. I dont think so, if Inter are interested in him, the nature of Rafa's contract would make it too expensive for them to approach us direct, and pay exorbitant compensation. Also from our side we get rid of him for a mere 3 million rather than having to pay out the rest of 40 mill odd of the 5 year deal he signed last summer.

King Kenny & Christian Purslow are now tasked with finding a replacement, I am a little bemused by this. Martin Broughton still hasnt found buyer at the ridiculous price that the useless yanks want, so what is the point in getting a new manager until that is resolved??? We have seen with several other clubs, when new owners move in the existing manager is invariably not their man, so they dont back him in the transfer market, and eventually they sack him.

No point in appointing Hodgson for example if we find buyer and they want Hiddink or whoever. I hope this decision was part of a joined up approach to get the club back on track. I know that might sound a bit hypocritical, as I have wanted rid of Benitez for about 2 years now, but the timing has to be right. If Broughton has buyer and they have indicated who they would like to be the manager then thats fine, if not, we could end up like Newcastle firing managers every 6-8 months and slowly sliding backwards.

At the moment Hodgson seems to be the favourite, I have seen the wonderful work he has done at Fulham first hand, and he would be a safe stable choice.

I have read with horror on the BBC website today that the Mekon, (aka Sven) is interested. Please Kenny & Christian, do not go anywhere this baffon!!!!!! If that idiot is a serious candidate, we should rather have kept the FSW! Sven has been at Notts County, Mexico & and now Ivory Coast in the last 12 months, where he has done nothing except line his pockets with pay-offs for poor performance.

Obviously Mr Grant has gone to West Ham, I dont see Martin O'Neill as a serious candidate. He is already managing a Europa League Team, why come to us with all the uncertainty around our ownership and no guarentee of funds or indeed if we will have any players either.

I think we have to accept the Torres will go to Barca or Inter after the World Cup hopefully we will get around 100 million for him. He is a lot better than the Show Pony and teh manc's got a fortune for him. Nando has always said if Rafa goes, he goes. So it will be a huge loss, but 100 million tranfer kitty will surely allow us to bolster the threadbare squad we have. hell even if new manager on gets half of that, thats at leats 3-4 decent player he can bring in. While the rest can be used to service the ridiculous debt the yanks have put us in.

As mentioned in previous posts, I will continue to write about The Reds despite Rafa's departure.

YMWA

My Crystal Ball appears to be broken

Well,

Looks like Rafa will not joining the Blanconrei as they have plumped for Mr Delneri, a man who hasn't achieved very much since he guided Chievo to Serie A & UEFA Cup qualification in the early part of the 2ooo's. So either they hold Rafa in lower esteem than him or perhaps Rafa wanted Mourinho-like wages. With teh aforementioned man's imminent move to Real Madrid, perhaps we can palm Rafa off on Inter.

For the moment, we appear to be stuck with him & more tellingly Lucas. Also looks like one of my suggested alternative Avram Grant is probably bound for the Hammers, so our options are limited further.

And I see Leicester are keen on signing young Spearing permanently, another loss that will be. Good little player who gives his all.

Our new Striker Jovanovic, doesnt think coming to us is a mistake, with all the uncertainty going around at the moment. We shall see how the Standard Liege man does at the World Cup for Serbia, to see how he fits in. No doubt Rafa will have him playing centre-half or something! At least he appears to want to play for us, more than can be said for some of the current squad.

So we await the next bout of specilation on who is coming and going. Latest rumour is we are looking at Richards. Player who promised much early doors but has delivered little, sounds exactly like our Manager so he should fit in well!

YNWA

Our new shining Jedi Knight

So if/when the FSW goes to Juve, who replaces him?? Again like my proposed signings in my previous post, that depends on money. If he leaves of his own free volition and we dont find new buyer then we are bargain shopping in this department. For me that might be better, we have tried to attract Big Name foreigners (Houllier & Rafa), but has that really worked? We still finish 3rd or 4th most seasons way off theh pace, no different to Evans or Souness days.

This is tough, who can come into a club like ours get the respect of the dressing room and take the club forward by attracting decent quality players? I honestly dont know, so who is available?

Zola - Just binned by the Hammers, but is he looking to jump straight back in & if so are we what he is looking for? Probably not.
Mark Hughes - Ouch an Ex-Manc in charge, not sure the fans would stand for it, but if he can attract , Warnock, Onouha & Ireland from is old clubs is it worth swallowing some pride??? Unlikely but worth a look.
Roy Hodgson - A strong favourite, but very happy at Fulham. he says he has 1 big job left in him, thats clearly England Manager when Capello gets the sack after England leave the World Cup in the QUARTER FINALS as usual.
Steve McLaren just won the title with Twente Enschede (yes thats their full name and I didnt Google it!) in Holland, will he be keen to come back to England to prove himself. Maybe.........

I offer 3 choices below all a bit mad but really what is out there? We are kidding ourselves if we think we can attract managers like Mourinho, Van Gaal, Hiddink etc. If we go for a manager who has a good World Cup that wont work. God, imagine it Sven in charge!!!
1st choice - Avram Grant managed both Chelski & Pompey with dignity. Seemed to be able to handle the egos in the Chelski dressing room. No mean feat.
2nd choice - Gary McAllister yes insane I know, but his teams play football properly.He will always be remembered for his magnificent contributions in 2001 to our 5 trophy haul at the end of his playing career.He is Scottish, which generally means success as a Manager of LFC (Souness is the exception that proves the rule!!)
3rd choice - Alec McLeish Big Eck has won just about everything in the game as player and is doing magnificent work at Birmingham.He will instantly command respect in the dressing room. He has managed Rangers to loads of trophys in the 'North of the border Bigots Handicap' (SPL). A League where 2nd in a 2 horse race is unacceptable, so he will be used to the pressure of Big club management.

Any other ideas on a postcard please

YNWA

Episode 7: A New Hope?????

Well the Season from Hell is finally over!

Hopefully the Dark Side of the Force will be at Juventus by the start of next season! By that I mean Emperor Benitez & and his young apprentice Anakin Lucas Lieva!

We will be looking to Steven Skywalker & Fernando Solo to save the Republic of LFC, under the leadership of an as yet unnamed and reclusive Jedi Knight. This will be tough as we attempt to recruit men of skill, passion and desire to our cause. We could do with a few Lando Lampard's, Chewie Cambiassso's & Mace Messi's!

Not only do we have this internal battle to fight, but we have the Droid Armies of Count Dooku Ferguson & General Anchelotti Grevious to overcome. Not forgeting that harvester of Young Souls Wenger Fett. Added into this mix has now been thrown the moneybags mercinary Mancini the Hutt. I dismiss the temporary annoyance of Poggle Redknapp the Lesser, he has horse-traded every planet he has been in charge of into bankruptcy (Bournemouth,So'ton,Pompey,West Ham).

I cannot see us making a push to free the Galaxy from the shackles of the Empire just yet (the Title), but we must gain some ground and be threat again. Broughton Organa has been given the task of finding a buyer over the summer for our club, not unlike the role of Lama Su (creater of Clone Trooperswho had a change of heart). He is a Chelski Season ticket holder but must help Liverpool find a way forward.

All the above considered (the football bits not the Star Wars metaphor!) we have 2 scenario's. We find a new buyer and they get rid of Benitez or dont find a new buyer and we are stuck with what we have. I cant see new owners keeping Benitez, and hopefully they wont have to pay him out as he will have left to Death Staventus or actually board a space shuttle bound for Orion's Belt (1 way).

I dont think it really matters which of these pans out, we are 7th best team in England and are playing Europa League Football (like Pod Racing instead of fighting the Empire in an X-wing!). So we are limited in who we can attract.For that to happen we need a cull of 10 or more players and bring in 5 or 6 good ones. The rest of the slack will to be taken up by our Youngling Reserves and Academy, which hasnt produced anything since Wedge Warnock Antilles.......

So who goes? Below is a list and a short explanation (NOT), this is based on the players currently listed on the LFC website as being in the Rebel Alliance.

Riera - He hates Rafa (not a bad thing) and want to go to Naboo (CSKA Moscow) I say let him go, he is inconsistent and a disruptive factor.
Aurelio - A valiant worthy warrior but too often missing from the Frontline and first on the Hospital Evac!
Kuyt - A stalwart of the Rebel Alliance but you know he in never going to make the shot to blow up the Death Star. Thank you for all your hard work Dirk but its time to go (He is a sale-able asset).
Lucas - He is utter Shite no Star Wars analagy needed, although not unlike Ja-Ja Binks, out of his depth and clueless. If Brazil want to win the World Cup this man should not be in your squad under any circumstance! I would take a new kettle and a set of bibs from anyone dumb enough to buy this clown.
Insua - Too short,too slow (3 seasons we have been playing him in the 1st team). Not unlike an Ewok who you wouldn't let guard your left flank unaided!

Now I get a bit contraversial, like carbon freezing Han Solo, but this time he doesnt come back. CARRA MUST GO!
I have stated it previously on my Blog for a Centre Half, he is now too slow and the 3 yards he had in his head for reading the game are gone. He has been consistantly out of position & out muscled for 2 seasons now (6 out 7 penalties last season were his fault & have lost count of the number of goals he has cost us this season) If we keep him, he plays as a holding midfield player nothing else.
Degen - Not unlike a TIE Fighter once a wing has been blasted off, all over the place and out of control, an accident waiting to happen. Like Dossena looks better as a winger than a fullback.
Itandje - Yes we are still paying this clown!!! Our reserve keepers are more than capable of covering Pepe & Caveleri.
El Zhar - A Jawa, an annoying desert scavenger (number of games played for wages paid) who in his 4-5 season has done absolutely nothing to indicate he want to play professional football for anyone. I am sure there are plenty kebab shops in Rabat looking for a delivery boy, like his crosses always short!!!
Last is Danny Sanchez Ayala Honestly he may only be 19 but he is slow, ponderous and cant tackle the preverbial fish supper! Cant help wonder if Rafa was too rash getting rid of Jack Hobbs after that 1 appearance against Reading on the 8th of December 2007. Now captain of Leicester who just missed out on pens getting to the Play-Off Final in the Championship......

Babel does not appear on my list here. We need to see him playing a full season on the right wing before we can judge him(Dirks replacement). Rafa has ruined this player and we need to re-build his confidence. Give him the ball on his right foot and tell him to run and shoot,the goals will flow.

Now the fun bit who do we get in???? Well we have no money and like the Rebel Alliance we have to keep things low key for fear of discovery which will inflate the prices no end. As you can see I have decimated the left side of the pitch like if was being defended by Ewoks and Gungans against a Stormtrooper assualt! No midfielder (left footed) or a full back. So lets address that 1st. This is a 'without too much money' scenario. Obviously money would allow us to pay better wages and attract better players, I am trying to be practical and realistic. please feel free to comment.

Left Back - There are 4 candidates for the position. The 1st is probably out of reach especially if Obi-Wan-Fabio picks him for the forthcoming Clone War in South Africa & the fact that he currently plays for the Sseperatists (Everton).
1st choice - Leighton Baines, he may have the name of a West Indian fast bowler but for me he is the best left back we may be able to attract.
2nd choice - would be Nicky Shorey, again short in stature, but I have seen him play for Fulham (they are the closet club to where I live & Our Danny plays for them!!!) several times this season and he is a solid defender who attacks when its appropriate.
3rd on my list is a bit controversial, bring back Wedge Warnock!!. he was injury prone but has been excellent since he went to Blackburn.
The last one is again off the wall, but if you image all we will have to spend is the money we get from above sales then perhaps this is the most realistic, Figueroa at Wigan, he is big, strong and doesnt mind shooting from inside his own half!! We need 2 from these 4.

Right Back- We only really have Johnson. Mascha & Carra arent comfortable there, so I am happy with Stephen Darby (Reserve Captain) and Martin Kelly (6"1 can play centre half or full-back). If you want to sign someone then for me Nedum Onouha is our only option. A player marginalised under Mancini having made just 7 league appearances this season.

Now Left Midfield, I see 4 potential candidates, the first of these is audatious but I will throw it in anyway - Joe Cole, he has been a bits & bobs player for years at Chelski, a chance to shine and show people what he can really do might appeal. NO TRANSFER FEE!!!! Rafa get on the bloody phone now!!!!! If you sign him I will forgive all your cock-ups!
2nd is Matthew Etherington - Yes I know he has a gambling problem & we have Haydock just round the corner, but as a player he is a honest, genuine left winger who works back and delivers quality balls into the box an alien concept at Anfield under Sith Lord Benitez.
3rd Aidan McGeady - Again I am being left field excuse the pun, but also spend thrifty with this one. The most skillful player in the SPL surely we can afford him? Celtic have no money.
4th - Damien Duff - Again I have watched Duffer at Fulham many times this season, he has been relatively injury free and outstanding for Roy Hodgson's team. He may cost a pretty penny, but I think he also has a point to prove that he can make it at a big club after his time at Chelski & the Toon.

Midfield - We have plethora of midfield talent but I dont think Rafa has ever harnessed it properly. His 2 - 3 set up has only worked with Alonso next to Mashca. He has left so we must move on,therefore the formation or personnel must change. I think we played better towards the end of the season when Gerrard became Xabi & Alberto became Stevie. I would like to see a more aggressive midfield. If we are only going with 1 up front a 1-4 work better. IE Mascha holding and 4 in front of him with Nando up front. However I would like to see us add 1 quality player to our numbers, for me there are only 3 options here.

1st choice Stephen Ireland - again may cost a few bob, but a genuine box-to-box player who carries serious goal threat, and another who has been marginalised under Mancini, and he doesnt play for his country (wrongly) so can devote all his time to us. Plus he is named after a whole country thats got to be good!!!
2nd - Everyone favourite trier - I used to watch him at Charlton and now he is the only shining light on a bleak Hammers landscape Scotty Parker. Again this would mean that we effectively have 6 quality players for central midfiled (lets not forget Yossi) all with goals and game changing passes in them. I would like both of these, but will settle for 1.We could even play without a holding player at home!!! Yes Rafa people may begin to like you if you use The Force properly!!!!
3rd - Charles N'Zogbia, he can play on both flanks and always scores about 7 goals a season despite playing for donkey clubs. So perhaps a higher return and is cover for Babel of whoever we get on the left flank. Send Riera there??

Centre backs - Well if Carra goes (unlikely, 1 can only pray), like Owen, Fowler & Hyypia I have called them all correctly but our managers have waited too long to deliver the chop.
Here I see 1 from 4 if we keep Skrtel, if he goes then we need 2.
Perea at Athletico - I watched him live in Hamburg & have seen him thrice this season hammer our forwards. I also saw him 2 seasons ago at the Emirates pre-season tournament that Arsenal hold. The man is immense, but no doubt Barca or Valencia will beat us to it.
Paul Sharner - yes again I am being madcap (no transfer fee, bags of Premiership experience), he is leaving Wigan,can play in midfield & up front and I think Dan & him will scare the hell out of everyone!!!
3rd choice - Ryan Shawcross - Legions of Doom released this boy and kept Johnny Evans???? Further proof that the Dark Lord Fergie is a moron!!! He has been outstanding in the 2 seasons he has had with Stoke so far in the Premiership and will probably be in our price range.Possible swap with Carra and some cash???
4th choice - Brede Hangeland - We have a tradition of Scandinavian centre-halfs whose names begin with H (Hysen,Hyypia,HAgger), can we add this 1??? I say no, I watch him at Fulham and he is very loyal to Hodgson, but might be worth a punt, again with Carra or Skrtel as bait.....

Up Front - We have allegedly signed some Eastern European bloke back in March, but cant find him on the LFC Website, so who knows if he exists or if he has name. This has been our biggest problem for 2 season now. We got away with it the season before last because Dirk chipped in with loads of last minute winners, especially in Europe. This year we suffered. Your back up to Torres cant be a 19 year old French stingbean.Its unfair pressure on Ngog and a sad indictment on our transfer policy. Game he may be but quality there is not,yet.Here is the difficult bit... We need 2 quality players here but they wont be cheap. I dont know what kind of striker the aforementioned Eastern Bloc man is, so I assume he doesnt exist....

1st choice - Rodellega from Wigan. He has managed 10 goals playing in the League on his own up front for them, surely we can increase the return & is used to that role.
2nd Choice - Lucas Podolski Total shot in the dark, dont know if he is still at Bayern or has moved on, but he plays up front or left wing ala 2006/Euro2008, Ja Vol Mien Herr !!!!
3rd choice - Kenwyne Jones - Much vaunted & linked in the Media with us but I dont see it, signing of last resort. If Rafa liked big lumps to aim the ball at he would have kept Crouch.
4th - maybe even more last resort than Jones, Santa Cruz, sitting getting splinters in him bum at Man City.

I see the return of the various loanees and reservesas crucial. (Darby,Ecclestone,Nemeth,Spearing, Pacheco et al) to support the above cast. The important question is who leads us?. All the above assumes we dont have much cash, so even if Rafa goes who can we attract? Next post will discuss.

YNWA