Festive Fantasies

WooooooooHooooooooooo!!!!!

Yes what brilliance!! Mr Moratti I love you!!! RAFA the Fat Spanish Waiter has been sacked by Inter!!!!! In the last 2 weeks thats been the best bit of sporting news I have come upon. Surely this proves the existence of a higher being- God, Allah,Santa, Buddah etc.

It appears our Rafa tried some brinkmanship with the Inter chairman and was unsuccessful. He has taken the Champions of Europe and latterly the World and turned them into mid-table also-rans in Serie A. Sound familiar? Clearly Rafa has completed another UEFA coaching badge. How else do you explain his ability to sink Inter in just six months!! It took the clown 4 years to make a mess of our club! Legend. May he never work in football again.Chief bottle washer in Bootle sounds about right!

How the media decided that his return to Liverpool was going to result in the sacking of Hodgson is beyond me. He has property here and his wife and daughter probably still live here. Although sacking Uncle Woy may not be a bad idea!

So we haven't kick a ball in anger in a few weeks, I hear some of you say we haven't kicked a ball all season! Thanks to 'weather' which I believe is a daily occurence on this Planet and it is generally cold this time of year, we have not played Fulham or Blackpool. I am glad of the last one as getting humped by Holloway (again) does not fill me with joy.

The Europa League draw was very kind to us. Sparta Prague followed by the winners of the Lech Poznan/Braga tie should we succesfully negotiate that. These latter teams have already drawn English blood this season. Lech, having drawn both games with Juve and beaten Man City 3-1 at home. Braga eliminated Celtic to get into the CL and are the reason the Gooners now have to face Barca in that competition.

We should have enough to beat Sparta over 2 legs and I imagine Braga will just shade the other tie. Braga have skillful players and play quick counter attacking football, so I imagine we may go out at that stage as we have neither!

The last Group game was disappointing, the fringe players didnt really put their hands up.Other than perhaps Martin Kelly and Danny Wilson. Poulsen,Babel,Cole et al showed why Woy is not starting them. Pacheco did more in 35 minutes than Cole has done all season. Surely we have to involve this boy more?

The transfer window is opening soon and the media is linking us with everyone from Nuneaton's tea lady to Dzeko (36 mill - where are we getting the money for that???).

Man City have 43 players to offload but I cant see them selling any to us. Although we are clearly no threat to the top end of the table this season! Plus can we really afford the ridiculous wages they are paying their players. How many would be willing to leave and take less money. Not something you would do yourself, take a new job for less.

So what do we need?

A leftback - Aurelio is never fit (perhaps Rafa wasnt so daft offerig a play as you play deal)
Konchesky is another waste of money.To think we gave Lauri Della Valle as part payment for this ,bald headed,blue-eyed berk ,to Fulham is disgraceful.

So who can we recruit? - Bridge or Warnock would be nice, Baines would be magic.No doubt we wont do anything on that front.

A left winger/left sided midfielder. IE one who can kick with his left foot!
Joe Cole is not a left winger, Maxi is not a left winger and Jovanovic has proved he isnt one either.

There isn't a lot around on that flank. Duff at Fulham or N'Zogbia perhaps? The former hasn't really done anything under Hughes and doesn't even start and they are bottom 3. But you know he can play. N'Zogbia would be my preference, has a bit of an attitude and oozes confidence when on the ball.

STRIKERS PLEASE- Anyone will do! Van Wolfswinkel - Utrecht (great name - 'from the wolf shop'). Surely he would add some much needed bite up front?
Robbie Keane Take 2 ??? unlikely but perhaps Woy wont play him as a lone striker peppering him with logballs, ala Benitez.
Bellamy again????
Santa Cruz? - Not sure he would be anything but a stop gap due to his age and lack of any game time recently will probably take him until August to get up to speed anyway.

I would also see us buy a right winger - If we arent going to play Babel or Johnson there.Dirk works hard but has no pace and isnt a huge goal threat either. Again who can we get? Wright-Phillips perhaps, not what I would go for. Been at 2 big clubs now and cant hold a regular place.

Why not take a punt on a Championship player or two? Seems to work for Blackpool and Birmingham. Chris Eagles at Burnley comes to mind. Wont cost lot and has a point to prove to both Coyle and Ferguson. Robert Snodgrass at Leeds also seems pretty decent.


Really not sure if there is anything out there worth buying. Lets hope Mr Comolli has a rabbit or 3 up his sleeve. After all he is the 'Grand Player Wizard' or whatever title we have given him. No doubt an influx of French players ala Houllier .

On the way out I would like to see the following - Poulsen, Jovanovic, Babel (only if we buy a striker),Johnson, Maxi,Konchesky. That should raise at least £47 , which I belieive is what the Nuneton tea lady costs!

Johnson might seem a strange one but he cant defend and unless we do a Spurs (ala Bale - using him as a winger) I dont see a future for him. Kelly,Carra and Darby mean we have 3 other options at right back. Plus we might get some decent wegde for him.

Let hope whoever we add will breathe some life into a squad bereft of confidence and ideas. Hopefully this will launch us up the table to 6th and a Eurpoa League spot again. I cant see us doing any better.

Lets hope we can beat Wolves on Wednesday although Mr Doyle likes scoring against us.

YNWA